Category Archives: 3/5

Film Review “A Classic Horror Story” (2021) #NetflixReview #150WordReview

Should be called A Classic Horror Story Medley

Strangers carpooling together across Italy get stranded in the woods and stalked by an evil presence and must fight tooth and nail to get out in one piece. As one of our characters remarks, “It’s like the set-up of a classic horror movie.”

A Classic Horror Movie, ironically, won’t go down as a classic horror movie. Indeed, it doesn’t even have the storyline of a classic horror movie. It does feel eerily familiar, however, with hints of Evil Dead, Saw, and Cabin in the Woods thrown in. The spooky house in the woods (another classic horror trope) was well-designed and very unsettling. What the movie sometimes lacks in acting it makes up for in atmos.

A suspenseful and gruesome flick with a wonderful post-credits sequence which is just perfect. However, it thinks it’s a bit cleverer than it actually is. Should be called A Classic Horror Story Medley.

3/5

© 2021-2022 Bryan A. J. Parry

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Film Review “Things Heard and Seen” (2021) #NetflixReview

the ghost story … goes nowhere [and] was pointless.

After an artist relocates with her husband and young child to a dream house for the dream price (familiar set-up?), she slowly begins to realise that both the house and her husband have a dark side.

Part ghost story, part psychological drama of the my-husband-isn’t-who-I-thought-he-was kind, Things Heard and Seen thrillingly portrays the descent into darkness, or rather the slow reveal, of Catherine’s (Amanda Seyfried) husband George (James Norton). I felt sickened and horrified as the truth depth of George’s deception slowly unfurled. All the actors were wonderful.

The story itself is compelling, but there are just too many loose ends to make this film the four star flick it seemed it was going to be. Apparently, the novel which the movie is based on, All Things Cease to Appear by Elizabeth Brundage, does indeed develop these threads. For example, there are characters like Eddie and Cole Vayle (Alex Neustaedter and Jack Gore) or Willis (Natalia Dyer) who seem like they should be developed and central characters, but who just kind of go nowhere. What was the point of any of these characters, frankly? And the worst thing was the ghost story angle; it literally goes nowhere. It really was pointless and, ultimately, a distracting waste of time.

This leads on to the fundamental issue with the film. Whilst screenwriters Shari Springer Berman and Robert Pulchini give it a decent go, they seem to be a little unclear as to what kind of movie they’re trying to make. Is it a domestic drama, or is it a ghost film? Or is it both? Clarity on this point would have sharpened up the movie and helped identify which of these loose ends to develop and which to cut.

None-the-less, a very entertaining film which lets itself down.

3/5

© 2021 Bryan A. J. Parry

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Netflix Review “Intrusion” (2021) #NetflixReview #150WordReview

the excitement wasn’t whodunnit, but howdunnit and whydunnit

A woman (Meera, Freida Pinto) starts a new life with her husband (Henry, Logan Marshall-Green: Tom Hardy’s American doppleganger) after overcoming a bleak cancer prognosis in the dream house that he designed and built. But when they fall victim to a home invasion and robbery, Meera’s newfound sense of security is left shattered.

Intrusion plays the old “vulnerable wife, is the husband too-good-to-be-true?” angle quite well, although I could see where the film was going quite early on. None-the-less, this felt like an episode of Columbo: the excitement wasn’t so much in whodunnit, as we could guess quite early on, but howdunnit and whydunnit — although it must be said that the film didn’t quite deliver on the why.

Somewhat trite, somewhat staid, Intrusion was none-the-less capably written, effectively directed, and well acted. An entertaining Friday night flick.

3/5

© 2021 Bryan A. J. Parry

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Film Review “1922” (2017) #NetflixReview #1922 #1922Movie

our farmer brutally slits his wife’s throat in her sleep with the help of his son, as you do.

In the year 1922, a simple but proud farmer decides to murder his wife, with the help of his son, in order to seize her property before she divorces him.

She wanted to move to the city and open a hat shop, as you do; he wanted to undertake back-breaking labour in the scorching Summer sun harvesting corn, as you do; the son — caught in the middle — wanted to bang the next door neighbour’s daughter, as you do. So our farmer brutally slits his wife’s throat in her sleep with the help of his son, as you do. Compellingly portrayed, the story is told by our protagonist as a confession which is a nice framing device so we can see how living with his crime has affected him.

Adapted from the acclaimed Stephen King novella, 1922 is a grippingly depicted tale of what happens when you give in to your darker side. King is a wonderful writer, albeit not everyone’s cup of tea, yet everyone can agree that films based on his works are a decidedly mixed bunch: from the truly sublime (The Shawshank Redemption, Green Mile, Stand By Me) to the truly stupid (The Night Flier, Thinner). 1922 is no classic, but it’s no bum note, either. It’s a good story which has been adapted well.

King fans should definitely watch this. Those who like psychological horror and fans of true crime stories should also watch this. Those who don’t enjoy watching middle-aged men sip lemonade on their verandas whilst brooding on the nature of sin should skip this.

All in all, “enjoyable” — insofar as watching sin destroy a family is enjoyable.

3/5

© 2021 Bryan A. J. Parry

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Film Review “Malevolent” (2018) #NetflixReview #150WordReview

haunted house in the country … and a group of unprepared wallies who strumble in

A group of young scammers go around “cleansing ghosts” from haunted houses much to the emotional comfort of their clients and the financial comfort of themselves. However, the fun and games stop when one of their clients houses actually is haunted and our young leads discover a secret about themselves that they hadn’t bargained for.

Malevolent is a simple film: haunted house in the country with hidden secrets and a group of unprepared wallies who stumble into it. The film is actually very linear and moves forward and concludes in a straight line. It left me wanting more, a little development. None-the-less, it was entertaining with convincing performances from rising star Florence Pugh and Olivier award-winning Celia Imrie. The loan shark plot thread hung loose a little for me, however.

Simple entertainment.

3/5

© 2021 Bryan A. J. Parry

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Film Review “The Ritual” (2017) #NetflixReview #TheRitual #TheRitual2017 @bruckmachina @AdamLGNevill @JoeBarton_

have these guys never seen a horror film?

A group of rapidly-heading-for-middle-age friends decide to take a hiking holiday to Sweden in order to rekindle and strengthen the weakening bonds between them and to commemorate a tragedy at the heart of their group. However, things (predictably) start to go awry when our group takes a “short cut” through the woods (have these guys never seen a horror film?).

Probably produced by Norway in order to undercut the Swedish tourism industry, The Ritual is a disturbing horror movie. It has the classic, minimalist horror theme that works so well: a few people alone with their thoughts in the middle-of-nowhere are forced to fight for their lives when an unseen evil begins to terrorise them. Simple but effective. The focus is on our lead Luke, Rafe Spall, as he grows to try and conquer his own demons.

Genuinely disturbing at times, this movie sucks you into its world and makes the unbelievable seem quite real. The acting and special effects were delightful, and the scenery is bleak but profoundly beautiful. Our characters’ choices are never absurd as so often is the case in these kind of films, although I must say I did sometimes feel the characters could do with turning their torches off.

Despite being reminiscent of many other horror movies, it never feels like a rip-off or a mish-mash, but rather its own thing. Nonetheless, there can be no bonus points for originality. A solid and thoroughly entertaining movie with a disturbing and credibly portrayed premise. A must for fans of horror or Scandi-anything (but note: it’s an English language film).

3/5

© 2021 Bryan A. J. Parry

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Film Review “Anna” (2019) #100WordReview #NetflixReview

Despite the unbelievability of the premise… entertaining

An action-espionage-drama following Anna, a poor woman from Russia with a heavy burden of suffering who is ready to give up on life. At her nadir, a man swoops in with an unlikely offer — become a spy, in exchange for a decent life.

Despite the unbelievability of the premise, the film is otherwise quite believable. The movie’s made up of several segments which end in a twist, the scenes then rewinding to show us what really happened. Entertaining and shocking, but this shtick begins to wear thin by the end.

An entertaining and exciting flick with good acting all round.

3/5

© 2021 Bryan A. J. Parry

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Film Review “Mama” (2013) #100WordReview #NetflixReview

sounds like countless other films

An evil apparition increasingly menaces an emotionally damaged family while itself apparently only clinging onto this Earthly realm due to its own unresolved trauma.

This sounds like the outline of countless other films. However, Mama really is fresh-feeling and impressive. This formula is refreshing by the use of this feral child motif which recalls the real case of Genie.

Good acting from all. Very creepy.

But there are some downers. Aunty only exists to be knocked off and never feels like a danger to the nascent family life of our protagonists nor as a fully fleshed out character. Also, the CGI is a little ropey, though not ruiningly bad.

3/5

© 2020-2021 Bryan A. J. Parry

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Film Review “32 Malasana Street” a.k.a. “Malasaña 32” (2020) #NetflixReviews #150WordReview

Fairly generic stuff

In last roll of the dice, a desperate family moves from their village to the city. They hoped their dreams would come true, but their new flat is a house out of their worst nightmares.

Fairly generic stuff: bad stuff happens in the apartment many years before, new family get short shrift from the ghost(s) of the fallen, experts in spookology get drafted in to help fix it, the shit generally hits the fan. So far so standard. But the acting, especially from Iván Marcos (paterfamilias Manolo), is powerful: broad-shouldered, literally and metaphorically, but broken, we can still just about glimpse the young and raw buck that Candela (Bea Segura) fell in love with. The film is deeply atmospheric with great use of all tropes.

The best generic horror movie for a while. But it is deeply generic.

3/5

© 2021 Bryan A. J. Parry

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Film Review “Blood Red Sky” (2021) #NetflixReview #150WordReview

a fairly standard hijacker flick with a horror movie twist.

A terminally ill mother boards a transatlantic flight with her son to get specialist medical treatment overseas. However, when the plane is hijacked by a group of terrorists, she is forced to take action and do something she hoped she’d never have to do.

Blood Red Sky is a fairly standard hijacker flick but with a horror movie twist. The horror spin gives the film something extra, but the basic hijacker story is thrillingly acted and directed.

Mother and child are played well by Peri Baumeister (Nadja) and Carl Anton Koch (Elias), but the movie is frankly stolen by supporting acts Kais Setti (Farid) and mesmeric Alexander Scheer (Eightball).

The movie plays slightly better if you don’t know the nature of Nadja’s mystery illness before watching it. Sadly, all of the publicity spills the beans. None-the-less, the film is still very entertaining. A slightly unoriginal story whisks us along in the wake of its taut hijacking.

3/5

© 2021 Bryan A. J. Parry

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