Tag Archives: Lady Macbeth

Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power S1E8 Short Review “Alloyed” #AmazonReview #LOTR #RingsofPower

May 24, 20232-5, episode review, TVAmazon, Amazon Prime, Arda, Battlestar Galactica, Bored of the Rings, BSG, BSG reboot, Celebrimbor, Dawn French, Disparu, dragon, elf, Episode VII, Erik the Viking, Ewoks, fantasy, female Ghostbusters, female reboot, French and Saunders, Gaius Baltar, Galadriel, Game of Thrones, GoT, harfoot, House of the Dragon, Isildur, J R R Tolkien, James Callis, Jar Jar Binks, Jennifer Saunders, Lady Macbeth, Legolas, Lenny Henry, Lord of the Rings, Lord of the Rings: Rings of Power, Lord of the Woke, LotR, LOTR: ROP, member berries, memberberries, Michael Fassbender, Michael Palin, Middle Earth, Númenor, Nerdrotic, orc, Peter Jackson, Peter Mullin, Red Wedding, Reservoir Dogs, Rings of Power, RoP, scene where Mr Blonde cuts off ear, Star Wars, SW7, The Hobbit, Tolkien, wizard, woke, Zummerset, Zummerzetbryanajparry

makes no sense … no Keyser Söze moment here … one of the dumbest red herrings I have ever seen.

REVIEW CONTAINS PLOT SPOILERS

The season finale of Lord of the Rings: Rings of Power finally reveals the identity of Sauron, we see the forging of the eponymous rings, and we (probably) find out who the Harfoots’ Stranger friend is.

one of the dumbest fake reveals ever

The episode starts with the reveal that the whole season has been centred around and building up to: the identity of the dark lord Sauron. Except there’s no Keyser Söze moment here; this is one of the dumbest, most see-through red herrings I have ever seen.

Michael Palin lookalike Celebrimbor

That’s not the only thing that’s impossible to believe in this episode. The greatest smith in history, legendary Michael Palin lookalike Celebrimbor, doesn’t know about alloying metals(!) I am an English teacher with almost no practical skills so to speak, and yet even a lowly bug such as I know about the concept of alloying metals, and how this can be a beneficial process.

The three witches, or whatever they are

The dodgy acting that has been a hallmark of this show continues. Sadoc tries to save Nori from, something, in a quite unbelievable way. Celebrimbor seems to be becoming seduced by powah. The three witches, or whatever they are, have a final stand-off with Probably-Gandalf, and it’s totally ridiculous again.

Galdriel suspects … that Halbrand isn’t the king that, err, Galadriel made him out to be

The characters and plot are still weak. Galdriel suspects what most people have suspected for a few episodes now: that Halbrand isn’t quite the king that, err, Galdriel made him out to be. Indeed, he might be thoroughly naughty. So gets a spy to look into Halbrand’s past but then talks to her super-duper-secret-spy in front of everyone, Halbrand included. Dumbest. Sh*t. Ever.

This is a kind of “Darth Vader” situation, isn’t it?

The show ends on two big reveals. Probably-Gandalf is, indeed, probably Gandalf. And Halbrand is… hang on a sec. Halbrand. Hal Brand. Hal. Hell. Brand. Like fire. Literally, his name is “Hell Fire.” This is a kind of “Darth Vader” situation here, isn’t it? Yes, Halbrand is Sauron. Dumber than that is how Galadriel doesn’t tell anyone. Dumber still is how The Artist-Formerly-Known-as-Halbrand-Currently-Known-as-Sauron doesn’t kill her when he has the chance, merely opting to scarper.

the disappointing and fairly nonsensical ending that this poor first season deserves

Bad plotting, a lack of characterisation, poor acting, shoddy dialogue, stuff that just doesn’t make sense. The disappointing and fairly nonsensical ending that this poor first season deserves.

2/5

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Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power S1E7 150 Word Review “The Eye” #AmazonReview #LOTR #RingsofPower #150WordReview

April 21, 2023150 word review, 2-5, TVAmazon, Amazon Prime, Arda, Battlestar Galactica, Bored of the Rings, BSG, BSG reboot, Celebrimbor, Dawn French, dragon, elf, Episode VII, Erik the Viking, Ewoks, fantasy, female Ghostbusters, female reboot, French and Saunders, Gaius Baltar, Galadriel, Game of Thrones, GoT, harfoot, House of the Dragon, Isildur, J R R Tolkien, James Callis, Jar Jar Binks, Jennifer Saunders, Lady Macbeth, Legolas, Lenny Henry, Lord of the Rings, Lord of the Rings: Rings of Power, Lord of the Woke, LotR, LOTR: ROP, Macbeth, member berries, memberberries, Michael Fassbender, Michael Palin, Middle Earth, Númenor, orc, Peter Jackson, Peter Mullin, Red Wedding, Reservoir Dogs, Rings of Power, RoP, scene where Mr Blonde cuts off ear, Star Wars, SW7, The Hobbit, Tolkien, wizard, woke, Zummerset, Zummerzetbryanajparry

“He’s gone, he’s gone, he’s gone”. Inspiring stuff.

“The Ring” opens with Hellish scenes: beautiful, evocative and compelling visuals reminiscent of the Fassbender version of Macbeth. Absolute carnage.

That’s about it for the good stuff. The bad?

Flabby dialogue and awful acting ruin anything remotely good. “He’s gone, he’s gone, he’s gone”. Inspiring stuff. And the plotting is non-existent. Gimli 2’s wifie suddenly becomes a power-crazed Lady Macbeth — a good idea, but there was no character arc. A shame, because the quadrangle of Gimli 2, Legolas 2, Gimli 2’s Dad and ~~Dwarven Lady Macbeth~~ Gimli 2’s wifie is one of the few things in this series that had potential.

The show’s like a billion dollar budget fanfic, but less professional. The name reveal of “Mordor” is one of the most absurd things I have ever seen in all of my life.

Speaking of absurd, how did everyone survive a volcano going off in their face? No explanation is, or can be, given.

Poor.

2/5

© 2022-2023 Bryan A. J. Parry
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Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power S1E7 Short Review “The Eye” #AmazonReview #LOTR #RingsofPower

April 15, 20232-5, episode review, TVAmazon, Amazon Prime, Arda, Battlestar Galactica, Bored of the Rings, BSG, BSG reboot, Celebrimbor, Dawn French, dragon, elf, Episode VII, Erik the Viking, Ewoks, fantasy, female Ghostbusters, female reboot, French and Saunders, Gaius Baltar, Galadriel, Game of Thrones, GoT, harfoot, House of the Dragon, Isildur, J R R Tolkien, James Callis, Jar Jar Binks, Jennifer Saunders, Lady Macbeth, Legolas, Lenny Henry, Lord of the Rings, Lord of the Rings: Rings of Power, Lord of the Woke, LotR, LOTR: ROP, member berries, memberberries, Michael Fassbender, Michael Palin, Middle Earth, Númenor, orc, Peter Jackson, Peter Mullin, Red Wedding, Reservoir Dogs, Rings of Power, RoP, scene where Mr Blonde cuts off ear, Star Wars, SW7, The Hobbit, Tolkien, wizard, woke, Zummerset, Zummerzetbryanajparry

~~Dwarven Lady Macbeth~~ Gimli’s wifie

Episode seven of The Lord of the Rings: Rings of Power, “The Ring”, opens with Hellish scenes: beautiful, evocative and compelling visuals reminiscent of the Fassbender version of Macbeth. Absolute carnage, apart from Galdriel who is somehow still standing. Effective, shocking and wonderful imagery.

Sadly, that’s about all that’s good. The problems? The flabby dialogue and acting ruin anything remotely good. “He’s gone, he’s gone, he’s gone” and “what cannot be known hollows the mind, fill it not with guesswork” inspiring stuff that was surely homaged (a.k.a. nicked) straight from the pages of Henry V. Verily, I sensed the tongue of Lawrence Olivier on the brain of some of these players and screenwrights. Bad lines badly delivered: this is a case where two negatives don’t make a positive.

An emotional moment between Gimli 2 and Legolas 2 was probably the best moment of the season so far. The quadrangle between this duo, Gimli 2’s Daddy and ~~Dwarven Lady Macbeth~~ Gimli 2’s wifie is probably the most interesting component in the whole show and one of the few that has any flesh on its bones at all. Nonetheless, Wifie’s transformation is all-of-a-sudden and has no arc attached to it. That’s a shame, as it surely would have been a good character arc had they actually bothered to do it.

Bad writing. Bad acting. Characterless characters. A lack of character arc. And plot points that make no sense. The few good moments only serve to highlight how truly awful everything else is. The show is like a billion dollar budget fanfic. But even the most amateurish and deranged fanfic wouldn’t handle the name reveal of “Mordor” like LotR: RoP does in this episode; truly, this was one of the most absurd things I have ever seen in all of my life.

Oh, and actually, let’s think about that compelling opening scene: how did everyone survive a volcano going off in their face? The writers didn’t even go with the cop outs of a deus ex machina or the “it was all a dream” tosh. The characters just… survived. That’s all. I bet the denizens of Pompeii must be kicking themselves.

The episode makes no sense. The characters are not characters and they have no arc. The series doesn’t hang together.

2/5

© 2022 Bryan A. J. Parry
featured image from https://static1.srcdn.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/Galadriel-Rings-of-Power.jpg

Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power S1E8 Review “Alloyed” #AmazonReview #LOTR #RingsofPower

January 3, 20232-5, episode review, TVAmazon, Amazon Prime, Arda, Battlestar Galactica, Bored of the Rings, BSG, BSG reboot, Celebrimbor, Dawn French, Disparu, dragon, elf, Episode VII, Erik the Viking, Ewoks, fantasy, female Ghostbusters, female reboot, French and Saunders, Gaius Baltar, Galadriel, Game of Thrones, GoT, harfoot, House of the Dragon, Isildur, J R R Tolkien, James Callis, Jar Jar Binks, Jennifer Saunders, Lady Macbeth, Legolas, Lenny Henry, Lord of the Rings, Lord of the Rings: Rings of Power, Lord of the Woke, LotR, LOTR: ROP, member berries, memberberries, Michael Fassbender, Michael Palin, Middle Earth, Númenor, Nerdrotic, orc, Peter Jackson, Peter Mullin, Red Wedding, Reservoir Dogs, Rings of Power, RoP, scene where Mr Blonde cuts off ear, Star Wars, SW7, The Hobbit, Tolkien, wizard, woke, Zummerset, Zummerzetbryanajparry

makes no sense … no Keyser Söze moment here … one of the dumbest red herrings I have ever seen.

REVIEW CONTAINS PLOT SPOILERS

one of the dumbest fake reveals ever

The episode starts with the reveal that the whole season has been centred around and building up to: the identity of the dark lord Sauron. Except who he is revealed to be makes no sense. For a second I was like “No!” in open-mouthed astonishment at the scriptwriters’ genius. And then a moment later, I was like, “Oh, actually, no” in open-mouthed astonishment at their stupidity. No Keyser Söze moment here, I’m afraid. This is one of the dumbest fake reveals / red herrings I have ever seen. It’s supposed to make the actual reveal of Sauron at the end of the episode all the more shocking as we are meant to think we now already know who Sauron is. But Sauron so obviously isn’t the person the episode opening would have us believe, that we simply don’t believe it.

Michael Palin lookalike Celebrimbor

That’s not the only thing that’s impossible to believe in this episode. The greatest elven smith in history, and therefore the greatest smith in history, the legendary Michael Palin lookalike Celebrimbor, doesn’t know about alloying metals. I am an English teacher with almost no practical skills so to speak, and yet even a lowly bug such as I know about the concept of alloying metals, and how this can be a beneficial process. Also, the plot point that the elven race will die if the tree dies, and that somehow the metal mithril will stop this, makes less and less sense the more you think about it.

Galdriel suspects … that Halbrand isn’t the king that, err, Galadriel made him out to be

The characters and plot are still weak. Galdriel suspects what most people have suspected for a few episodes now: that Halbrand isn’t quite the king that, err, Galdriel made him out to be. Indeed, he might be thoroughly naughty. So she does her usual thing of rushing around and causing chaos. This time she gets a spy to look into Halbrand’s past. But then she has her top secret spy simply walk in in front of everyone, Halbrand included, and present her a scroll. Not suspicious or attention-drawing at all. Everyone looks around at her, as well they might. Dumbest. Sh*t. Ever.

This is a kind of “Darth Vader” situation, isn’t it?

The show ends on two big reveals. Probably-Gandalf is, indeed, probably Gandalf. And Halbrand is… hang on a sec. Halbrand. Hal Brand. Hal. Hell. Brand. Like fire. Literally, his name is “Hell Fire.” This is a kind of “Darth Vader” situation here, isn’t it? Yes, Halbrand is Sauron. Dumber than that is how Galadriel doesn’t tell anyone. Dumber still is how The Artist Formerly Known as Halbrand Currently Known as Sauron doesn’t kill her when he has the chance, merely opting to scarper.

the disappointing and fairly nonsensical ending that this poor first season deserves

Bad plotting, a lack of characterisation, poor acting, shoddy dialogue, stuff that just doesn’t make sense. But apart from all the show, the show isn’t half bad. Honestly, this is the disappointing and fairly nonsensical ending that this poor first season deserves.

2/5

featured image from https://static1.cbrimages.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/sauron-and-ruler-ring-from-lord-of-the-rings.jpg

Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power S1E7 Review “The Eye” #AmazonReview #LOTR #RingsofPower

December 9, 20222-5, episode review, TVAmazon, Amazon Prime, Arda, Battlestar Galactica, Bored of the Rings, BSG, BSG reboot, Celebrimbor, Dawn French, dragon, elf, Episode VII, Erik the Viking, Ewoks, fantasy, female Ghostbusters, female reboot, French and Saunders, Gaius Baltar, Galadriel, Game of Thrones, GoT, harfoot, House of the Dragon, Isildur, J R R Tolkien, James Callis, Jar Jar Binks, Jennifer Saunders, Lady Macbeth, Legolas, Lenny Henry, Lord of the Rings, Lord of the Rings: Rings of Power, Lord of the Woke, LotR, LOTR: ROP, member berries, memberberries, Michael Fassbender, Michael Palin, Middle Earth, Númenor, orc, Peter Jackson, Peter Mullin, Red Wedding, Reservoir Dogs, Rings of Power, RoP, scene where Mr Blonde cuts off ear, Star Wars, SW7, The Hobbit, Tolkien, wizard, woke, Zummerset, Zummerzetbryanajparry

THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SOME SPOILERS

Bad lines badly delivered

Episode seven of The Lord of the Rings: Rings of Power, “The Ring”, opens with Hellish scenes, and beautiful, evocative and compelling visuals reminiscent of the Fassbender version of Macbeth. Absolute carnage, apart from Galdriel who is somehow still standing. Effective, shocking and wonderful imagery. But seriously, how is she still alive?

The problem as ever is that all the flabby dialogue and acting ruins anything remotely good. “He’s gone, he’s gone, he’s gone” and “Soldiers, soldiers, the roof’s about to fall down” and “what cannot be known hollows the mind, fill it not with guesswork” inspiring stuff that was surely homaged (a.k.a. nicked) straight from the pages of Macbeth or Henry V. Indeed, I sensed the tongue of Lawrence Olivier on the brain of some of these players and screenwrights, or so the showrunners and the showrunners alone clearly think. Bad lines badly delivered: this is a case where two negatives don’t make a positive. The way they almost got crushed by a tree was so bad, the acting so comical, that it completely ruined the beautiful visuals. So terribly discordant, once again.

An emotional moment between Gimli 2 and Legolas 2 was probably the best moment of the season so far. This is probably the most interesting relationship along with that between Gimli 2 and his Dad. Indeed, the best acting comes from Gimli 2’s Dad played by Peter Mullin. But they still managed to ruin this mini-success in the show by Gimli 2’s wife being more of a man than him in almost every single way. Gimli 2’s wife indeed has suddenly become Lady Macbeth in this episode, although I’m not sure where the character arc was that led to this. Although that surely would have been a good character arc had they actually bothered to do it.

Fundamentally, the problem remains that we’re just not that invested in the characters, and the odd good moments only serve to highlight how truly awful everything else is. Probably-Gandalf is handed an apple by Female Frodo, swell of music, but we just don’t care no matter how loud they lay that score on.

WHICH YARDSTICK?

When this series began, I was determined to not compare it to Tolkien’s original work, but to evaluate it on its own terms. Tolkien is a high bar to meet, and I feel that would be a handicap for any show. Indeed, that’s why I esteem the Jackson-Boyens-Walsh trilogy so much, as their work was not only excellent on its own terms but also on the terms laid down by Tolkien. Yet even by my looser desire to merely see a great show, rather than a great show which does true justice to the beloved late Professor Tolkien’s works, and despite being someone who desperately wants this show to succeed, I just cannot give any episode more than a three out of five, and even then the threes are being scraped; indeed, I wonder how much my misplaced loyalty to the world of Middle-Earth is colouring my views and pushing me towards lenience to this show.

This series has some good moments and some bad moments. But the overall vibe is an amateurish fanfic, but a fanfic not even set in Tolkien’s universe but set in a universe designed to nod to Tolkien’s. I’m not sure why or how a great company like Amazon with a great IP like this has managed to produce this substandard piece of work.

SILLY STUFF

And why does Galadriel love doing stuff “at first light”? It’s really getting silly now. Oh wait, hang on, it’s gets sillier still: the way the name reveal of Mordor was handled has to be one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever seen. It was absolutely stupid.

Oh, and actually, how did everyone survive a volcano going off in their face? The writers didn’t even go with the cop outs of a deus ex machina or the “it was all a dream” tosh. The characters just… survived. That’s all.

IN SHORT

The episode makes no sense. The characters are not characters and they have no arc. The series doesn’t hang together.

2/5

featured image from https://static1.srcdn.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/Galadriel-Rings-of-Power.jpg

Bryan's Magic Lantern Filmhouse

Mostly pithy film/series reviews of Netflix and Amazon Prime