Using sophisticated NASA-style algorithms (read: guesswork)
It used to be that to qualify for a reboot or remake, a film had to satisfy two criteria:
- the original had to be a “classic”,
- a generation had to have passed since the original: Cape Fear (1962, 1991), The Hills Have Eyes (1977, 2006), Superman (1976, 2006).
Not so anymore. The appearance of Cabin Fever, a 2016 remake of a middling 2002 film, means all bets are off. And it’s not the only one:
Hulk (2003, 2008)
Fantastic Four (2005, 2015)
Death at a Funeral (2007, 2010)
Planet of the Apes (1968, 2001… 2011)
Using sophisticated NASA-style algorithms (read: guesswork) powered by the next generation software and hardware (read: coffee, boredom in my job), I have managed to foretell a 100% accurate schedule* of film and TV reboots for the next few years.
So put these dates in your daybook, because these films are coming to a cinema near you!
*At time of going to press: all changes to schedule are the result of a mishap with a DeLorean.